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bastiaan
Wysłany: Pon 17:59, 21 Mar 2011
Temat postu: September , the wind had a mark
has been said that my life is a vent for me, I think this remark is good. Each experience love, I will definitely be tasted sweet and painful, even so, I do not have to give up the pursuit, but this year, experiencing some of the things I really love are suspect, but also to give up the pursuit, use a species very common state of mind to look out of my feelings.
August, the hottest month of the year, but it is my birthday month, had finished 26th birthday, I gain a feeling. Our acquaintance began from the network, the two men had nothing in common, because the closer the relationship between the network distance of each other. In July, the first time we chat, it is accidental, we added QQ some time, but did not say a word, day began to speak, I can not remember, just remember that day is one day in July, Our first chat, when he was traveling in Yunnan, Lijiang, Yunnan, and I like to know his next stop is Lijiang, I was actually joking that Maybe because he's refreshing, I feel like we know for a long time friend and did not talk to strangers first and see outside, or another person is in Changshu, not really the kind of foreign land case refresher feeling, but my moment really feel like a long time not to meet friends, say hello to each other, laugh about, contact feeling!
August, he came back, I was at the end of August a man went to Hangzhou
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, then I do not know what he is doing what in the end, only know there is a company. Along the way he and I sent messages, and I said I went to Hangzhou, and a person to that same moment we're just talking the information, I have not wanted after the story.
beginning of September I returned from Hangzhou, a look of desolation, a person's travel had unhappy. Hangzhou returned that moment, I want him to pick car, made an appointment for dinner, because time did not estimate accurately the time missed the next car, I go home. The next day, he called me to apologize to me about another day to eat, I jokingly said, I know he is not simply a company, I began to think that the company is the boss, but he also hide it from me, told me that he mixed in society, and by loan-sharking, and had a criminal record
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, I said what I have remember, just remember that I both fear and curiosity, and then Zhigu eat. Next morning, he sent me the message that people do care, always good to me, I did not agree, or refuse, I do not want to say that people have seen a good one, I do not believe this kinds of people, even if there does not belong to me. We ate a few meals a row of getting to know each other's things, I found that I've seen relative to the man, he can be said that the people quite directly, not so much hiding, I am also quite careful to treat I admit they are a little tempted, but I still can not believe I was serious, I am a very insecure person, easy to believe that people can easily suspect others. Maybe his carefully touched me, and I eventually nodded, and our feelings started. The passage of time, so I feel like falling into a honey pot, but happiness come fast, really make me afraid of every day life of fear, the pressure of my breath, because I invested in eighty, so that he to loan-sharking, I do not even know what is wrong is that setting. Every day I sleep, nightmares, affecting the work, there is motivation to work for fear of a accident, even if I was beyond redemption, and really I'm sorry I'm sorry your family! I feel in the space to write the log, he saw, but also saw his girlfriend.
the last day of September, he started the war with her, and I dropped tears of sorrow, not for themselves not for money, just because, edgy playing a dozen phone, wait until the end He said the first thing is to start At that moment, I really want to Daxiao, laugh at my ignorance, all the people are opposed to I trust him, and in the end, most do not trust me is him, though he later call said, do not blame me, but I'm better than anyone clearly, he did doubt me, once suspect the feelings, so happy is really about to lose, we fight on the phone, he abused me the first time, also told me not to add to the trouble, I can understand him because of her entanglement with the noisy, but who can understand my concerns, knowing that his brother came, my fear and worry about more serious, once I could not, tears to stay, I was afraid of him and his brother broke up with me, that moment, I He finally knew love, hopeless!
the last day of September, I and my colleagues to dinner, had the doctor said I can not drink, can not be tired, but who can understand my pain, can not say that can not cry can not alarm can not be noisy, can only intoxicate themselves with alcohol, but unfortunately, the capacity of the stomach is poor, drunk I do not drink, that moment, I want to get drunk
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, or even want to go crazy, but I can not destroy the overall situation, I want forbear, I did not cry, no trouble, just to vent, vent in song, with the bear's body to splurge, use alcohol to destroy the body, friends said I was a fool that he tortured himself. I was willing to, ah, I think about that moment to stop breathing, you will not know the heartache and fear, then, standing on the street, I carried my friends, I feel cold, how to hold all that cold, the body trembling, his mind is very clear, so clear I hate, I hate to think so much, I hate to remember so many repeated over and over again I am, I wrapped a pain, it hurts, it hurts ... ...
I do not know how long our relationship can, we suspect that is not started, I trust him with suspicion and duplicity, Friends say I cover him, but I chose to believe him, although suspected, but after all is trust, I think time will tell my trust worth. I've been waiting for the results, but the feelings did not think we started in early September, but the exposure in late September, just a month's time, my trust is the collapse of his sentence, and today, sitting face to face, he asked me He said, I say
love someone is not wrong, is that time, I still do not think I'm wrong, but she's true, even if I say so outrageous if
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, in fact, I'm not righteous, I also had shortness of breath Maybe I do not want him for her trouble, and I would rather he told me angry, to say to say, I tired to explain, rather silent, so that at least one another clean, I wake up, he really is not my own, he has her that he has feelings for her, I was jealous of her, maybe that is my answer.
dream and said: dream through the grave, that happiness is about to disappear. I do not know if this is really the case, I think I was prepared, no matter how kind the results, I think I have only received copies, even if the pain is not to say, since the choice of silence, why say that one hurt? And to share the love, too hard, tired of him, tired of her, tired me, and I have known, sooner or later there will be 这 day, why who is obsessed with who is wrong, no one wrong, wrong is I I should not have walked into his life, alas! From that moment on, I was waiting, but the heart is also afraid of tired, tired, ... ...
said, loving accommodation Daqian, that if the heart without love? Every time I was not happy drinking, shopping, go to the Peak, today I want to go top, only the high mountain stood, looking afar, my heart is wide, he said, the real your heart wide to relax. But I do not have such a high state, I just want to be spoiled a little woman, the only broad high mountains only, look afar, maybe I can see the scale of the heart, to hear the heart cry every time I stand on top, has some ideas to jump from the high mountains, that moment, I think I would laugh, I can hear the wind in the world's most urgent, the maximum heart beating, and even I can hear the loudest sound of landing sound He Posui ... ... I really unsympathetic people, selfish people, love in my heart is really important than family ties, people give up love for family, but can be for love Fangqi Kexin family, I do not know when I could not help myself, really gone, I often think about these, my heart hurts, not for me, not for him, but for the family, after all, is the love in my heart can not let go of life, do not know the real parting of life and death, I will still continue to love than love important?
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